Buddies Clubs and Services

                          Promoting positive behavior

Preface
Anyone who is familiar with the children/young people who come to Buddies Clubs & Services will realise that this policy on anti- bullying is guidance in a broad sense only.  
Because of the wide range of ability in language, general understanding etc. among our children/young people most interaction with them must be shaped to the individual to a remarkably high degree.

What is Bullying?    
Bullying is the use of aggression with the intention of hurting another person. Bullying results in pain and distress to the victim. 
Within Buddies Clubs it is import to realise that what might appear too many to be Bullying may relate to an individual’s particular disability and lack of understanding of social rules and empathy. 
This can be particularly relevant with children and young people with Autistic Spectrum Disorder 

Rationale
Boundaries and limits are reassuring to children/ young people and help them to learn how far they can go and that behavior/ bullying will not be accepted if it . . .

•	Is dangerous, hurtful or offensive to others – children, young people and adults.
•	Is self-endangering to the child/ young person.
•	Will make the child/ young person unwelcome or unacceptable to others.
•	Has racial, sexual, physical or emotional implications.

Aims
To provide clear frameworks of what is acceptable and unacceptable. 
Towards this the following objectives should be identified . . .

•	Reasons why children/young people behave in unacceptable ways.
•	Positive ways of encouraging acceptable behavior.
•	Ways of dealing with inappropriate behavior.
•	Ways staff can support each other in managing behavior.
•	Ways of working with parents/carer’s in managing behavior.
•	Ways that colleagues from other agencies may help.

Warning Signs
Behavior that should cause concern and could be seen as Bullying or the behavior of someone being bullied:
•	Swearing, verbal abuse, withdrawal and hiding.
•	Apathy, lack of response and sadness.
•	Reverting to immature behavior/language.
•	Stops eating, constantly feels ill, has unexplained cuts or bruises.

Strategies for Managing Behavior/Bullying
Accentuate the Positive.  
Give positive reinforcement when children/ young people behave according to our expectations and rules. Take time to talk to them with them and give them lots of praise and attention.

•	Give Ample Warning of transition times, e.g. time to clear away, snack time.
•	Give Explanation of why behavior expected or not: “Don’t Run - You might slip and bump your head”
•	Creating confrontation and Battles.  Do not overreact. Stay objective. Try to change the behavior - not the child.
•	Give Children/young people a Chance to work out their own disputes. Do not intervene too soon.
•	Help Them Develop a repertoire of assertive language: “I do not like that!” . . . “Do not hit me!” . . . Please stop that!”
•	Be Firm.  State clearly to children/young people that there are rules to be followed to and assist them to understand the reasons why.
•	Gentle Restraint may be necessary to keep child/young person from danger or to prevent them harming others.
•	You are a Role Model. Set a good example.  Be kind, considerate, polite, honest and positive. Children/young people learn values and behavior from adults.
•	Distraction:  Providing an alternative or calming/ cooling-off time can be valuable.
•	Show Disapproval but make it clear that it’s the behavior that’s unacceptable - not the child.  
•	Child/young person’s ability to understand will have to be taken into account when explaining why what happened was ‘wrong’ or dangerous.

If a Child/young person hurts another, explain why the behavior is unacceptable and if appropriate to the child/young person’s understanding -obtain an apology.
Use sanctions sparingly.  They must be immediate and fitting to the misdemeanor.
 Ensure the child understands what misdeed the sanction relates to: ‘Come away from the sand tray because it’s dangerous to throw sand’.

Treats and Rewards.  Children/young people should not be ‘bought.’
							
Possible Causes
 Children/Young people do not always behave in ways that meet adult expectations because they . . .

•	Are tired, bored, sickening for something.
•	Are exploring their environment from curiosity.
•	Don’t realise the dangers of a situation.
•	Are copying others (peer pressure).
•	Are anxious, scared (e.g. separation from parents/carer’s).
•	Is attention seeking?
•	Test limits and experiment to see what happens, how far people can be pushed. 
•	Haven’t grasped communication from others (which may be poor).
•	Are frustrated at their inability to express themselves or do things.
•	Cannot control their emotions.
•	Are poor at adjusting behavior to changing circumstances (or seeing a need to).
•	Feel they have been treated unfairly.
•	feel restricted by lack of opportunities for boisterous play
•	Have disability or learning difficulties.
•	Are sensitive to food additives etc. which make them irritable or agitated.
•	Have a chronic illness, leaving them physically and emotionally below par.
•	Have learned some behavior which is permitted within the family.
•	Are unsettled because of moving house/school, new baby/ bereavement
•	Are victims of abuse?

Consistency
Staff meetings should discuss types of Behavior/Bullying and work out appropriate coping strategies as it is important that children/young people have consistency of approach. 

Procedures 
All incidents which could relate to bullying must be reported to senior staff.  Cases which appear serious SHOULD BE RECORDED by staff on the appropriate forms. 
Parents/carer’s should also be informed if the incident appeared serious. 
Attempts must be made to help change the individual’s unacceptable behavior. 
If the Bullying and inappropriate behavior continues staff must meet and decide on a consistent approach.

When dealing with a young person who is displaying challenging behavior please give them space. If there are two or three people crowding around that young person it can be intimidating when they are already showing anxiety and stress. Ensure there is one staff member to support, have another back away but on hand to support their colleague and young person. If a staff member feels uncomfortable in a situation inform colleague/ shift leader to take over their position, whilst still being in on hand to assist if necessary. At times young people can need space to reflect/de-stress, and calm down from the situation at hand rather than be given an ultimatum. 

Visually risk access area to ensure there are no major potential risks and use own initiative in removing them if possible.

If a child hurts another, be wary of insisting an apology. It can be meaningless.